Let me set the scene: It’s pitch black outside, there’s a slight drizzle, and we’re on our last night game drive. The drive has been nothing short of excellent. We saw a leopard, a family of lions, and the usual crew of zebras, giraffes, wildebeasts, etc.

The time is about 7:30 PM and my stomach is growling for dinner. We have an extensive “boma” set up for us just outside the park– that’s like an outdoor BBQ with all sorts of exotic African meats. We’re on the road back, only about half a mile away from the exit, and what do we see in front of us but a big ol’ elephant blocking our path. And it’s not just any elephant– It’s Amarula, the old solitary guy who hangs out near our lodge. We’ve encountered him earlier in the trip and our ranger tells us that the liquid beside his ears indicates he’s currently “stressed.” Earlier in the day, we laughed. How can an elephant be stressed?

Not knowing what the hell our driver is doing, we sit tight and watch carefully as he moves our vehicle towards the elephant, trying to intimidate him and move him off the road. We drives forward confidently, and turn our vehicle sideways, showing its width and giving the appearance that we’re bigger than him. It’s showdown number one. We revv up the engine, and hope for the best.

The elephant isn’t scared. He pauses his stride for a moment, to be sure, but then keeps on walking down the road towards us. He’s lumbering  slowly and we’re in no danger, but he’s getting closer nonetheless. We back up 50 yards in the dark and re-group.

At this point, there’s mixed feelings in the group. Some amongst us are questioning the logic. “Why are we in a showdown with an elephant?! Let’s just find another exit to the park” they say. Others reassure the group that the game ranger surely knows what he’s doing. This is his job after all.

The rain begins to come down heavier and lightning goes off in the distance. (If I were trying to write fiction, I would add in these details for effect, but I swear it’s exactly how it happened. And I have 20 or so witnesses on our truck to attest to it.)

The ranger tells everyone to relax and he starts the engine up again. We’re about to start showdown number 2. He approaches the elephant, and again turns our vehicle sideways. The elephant keeps walking towards us, unfazed. We rev the engine, and nothing. He keeps walking, and as he gets closer, our game driver senses we’ve lost another bout. He backs up, as before, and we re-group before trying our intimidation trick again.

At this point, there’s growing tension in the car. People in the group are furious. “What the hell are we doing?! This arrogant driver is going to get us killed.”

We try our luck again and it’s showdown #3! By this time, the elephant had enough of our games. Seeing us do our sideways truck dance, the elephant starts charging towards us at full speed. Again, cue the lightning, cue the rain. We’re going to die in the African bush. The driver steps on the gas like I swear I’ve never felt acceleration before. Our Range Rover-like truck became a race car for a moment and as if guided by angels, managed to keep us a few steps in front of Amarula. We can see him romping down the road behind us, his head bobbing from side to side and his tusks up the air. At the closest, I swear he made it within 2 feet of the back of our truck.

The passengers in the back row of the vehicle are f’ing screaming their heads off. They jump two rows ahead, feeling they’ll at least die with the rest of us, no earlier, and no later.

Ultimately, we outrace Amarula and escape the situation. We survive, but not without memories for a lifetime.

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Our 3 days in Cape Town were lovely, but we’re ultimately here in South Africa for the wildlife, not city life. No matter how beautiful Cape Town is and how laid back and fun the people are, I was excited to move on to the next phase of our trip: The Safari.

Today we arrived at Bukabong lodge, from where our safari will begin tomorrow. Or, I should say, it was supposed to begin tomorrow morning at 5:30 AM. However, upon arrival, we were immediately greeted by a group of monkeys hanging around our rooms.

First, it was cute. We saw a mother feeding its child. Then someone noticed a larger male monkey with green testicles. We saw some monkeys eating with their little furry fingers and thought that was just adorable.They were ripping open sugar packets and pouring the sweet granules in their mouths! The monkeys just went into open residential lodges and stole our milk and sugar from the coffee stations.

The monkeys didn’t go into every room though; Only two–Ronnie’s and one other guest’s. When Ronnie realized he had monkey intruders, he yelled at them to flee and they did move over a few yards to the side. Whether or not they left any droppings in his room is yet to be determined.

Woah, what a day!!!

It was my first full day in South Africa and I think it’s almost unfair that I took in  more than more than a day’s worth! We started at a vineyard about 45 minutes outside our hotel in Cape Town. An informative and gentle young lady explained to use the process of growing grapes. It was all interesting, and while very cool to see the huge vats of wine, it was nothing new. I’ve heard it all before. Whether you’ve done a wine tour in France or California or even Virginia, it’s the same basic schpiel.

The fun part began when they passed out the wines and we had a hilarious old guide explain to us the virtues of each individual grape.  I should say I’m familiar enough with the South African accent, but the accent down in Cape Town is sooo different to that of the accent in Johannesburg, where all my family is from. Here, it’s much more gutteral with strong “R’ sounds and it’s just overall much more blunt and in your face. It seems more heavily influenced by the Dutch language and less so by the Queen’s British English.

But you, reading this at home (or work most probably) don’t care about the accent here. We had an awesome lunch experience with a huge display of food and a full performance by a traditional tribal South African dance troupe. Simply spectacular.

But let’s move on, because what I’m here to talk about are the CHEETAHS. They’re gorgeous animals that simply need to be seen in person to be appreciated. I’ll upload my photos tomorrow from the cheetah farm we visited. We didn’t have enough time as we all would have liked, but some of us got the chance to actually walk into the cheetah cage and pet these beautiful creatures. We visited a cheetah conservatory and learned all about the various genotypes of cheetah fur and patterns we might see in nature. Pretty cool.

After a long flight of almost 18 hours, I’ve finally touched down in sunny South Africa. I say “I” and not “we” because the rest of the 94 participants on the DC 101 trip arrived here yesterday. Apparently, each of them is independantly better at following directions than I am. I was THE ONLY ONE of the group who failed to meet the passport requirement of having “2 blank visa pages.” I had extra pages alright, but mine weren’t “good enough” because they didn’t say the word “Visa” at the top and have a faint blue box for each visa stamp. I should explain that in the back of the book, every passport has these blank “Ammendment” pages. These, unfortunately for my poor soul, don’t count .

AAAAARGGG…. SO on Friday afternoon, I had all my bags packed and made it to the front of the line at Dulles Airport, only to learn I wouldn’t be flying. I won’t go through the nightmare it took to finally secure the additional empty pages for my passport, but suffice it to say it’s not easy and I highly recommend you take care of these things IN ADVANCE when you travel next. But all in all, I’m here, I’ve arrived safely in Africa, and I’m just one day late.

At the current moment, I’m sitting at an internet station in the Johannesburg Airport, waiting for the connecting flight to Cape Town.  Let me speak about South African Airways for a moment and give them the credit they deserve. Everyone in that SAA blue uniform was effusively nice to me when they found out I had to miss a day of my trip. The kind lady tried to help me upgrade my ticket for free to First Class. She let every other traveler on the plane before me, and said at the last minute she would do her best to bump me up in life to First Class! At last, she tried her best, but it couldn’t be done. What she did accomplish, however, was almost equally as amazing. She gave me the aisle seat in the Exit row. People forget sometimes how much extra space there is in the Exit row. Almost double!!

I don’t know why they don’t price the exit row higher than standard economy tickets. It could certainly be a class of ticket all its own, cheaper than First, but more expensive than standard. That’s my advice to you, SAA!